


Untitled

by FaeryQueen07



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-20
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeryQueen07/pseuds/FaeryQueen07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>...now his work was done and Merlin was tired. Tired of protecting everyone but the one he needed most, of trying to make sure that Camelot lived on in legends even as it lay in ruins, of pretending that his heart had not died with his king, with Arthur.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this spur-of-the-moment. Not sure why. Sadly, I cannot even recall the song I was listening to at the time. :D As always, this was beta'd by the amazing dracosoftie! All remaining errors are my own.

His steps were slow and pained, not from the years he had spent travelling, but from the time he had spent in his self-imposed exile from this place. Despite how much time had passed, it looked just as it had the first time he had visited it, preserved by the dying magic of the Old Religion and his own. He crossed the sand of the beach to the water’s edge, watching it lap gently at his feet, then raised both hands and called with a voice no mortal man could hear. Less than a breath later, she rose from the depths of the lake, as beautiful as she had been the day he had set her pyre afloat.

“You have returned,” she said, eyes full of sadness. “I know that which you seek, but are you certain? You could live a thousand lifetimes, Merlin. Help man re-forge the world, hasten the progress of what is yet to come. You could help mold a thousand futures, raise a thousand kings to their thrones."

Merlin looked past Freya, eyes locked on the fireburst of the setting sun's reflection on the lake. His heart ached, an old familiar pain that had not lessened over the years. Yes, there were a million things he could be doing, but....

“I sat beside the Lady Murasaki Shikibu as she penned _The Tale of Genji_ and witnessed the fall of the Byzantine Empire. I stood beside the first king of Jerusalem, traded tales with King Richard the Lionheart and sat at the bedside of Genghis Khan as he drew his last breath. I have met the many times great grandfather of the one who will live as Sir Thomas Malory, and I have shared with him the tales of Arthur’s life. I have done all of this and so much more and I am tired of living, of existing in this barren, unending life I never asked for. Never _wanted_.

"What would be the point to continue on?" he asked, voice breaking under the weight of tears unshed. "Without him, my life has no meaning. I've seen the future; there will be no place for magic not long from now. I was _born_ for him, magic bound to a mortal form for a man _conceived_ of magic. What was the point? Why was I put here if he was just going to die and leave me behind like this?"

The tears came easily, his words opening the floodgates, and they travelled silently down his cheeks to be lost in his gray beard. Merlin had fought them back for the last two and a half centuries, trying desperately to fulfill a dying man's last request. But now his work was done and Merlin was tired. Tired of protecting everyone but the one he needed most, of trying to make sure that Camelot lived on in legends even as it lay in ruins, of pretending that his heart had not died with his king, with Arthur.

Freya remained silent, unable to reply. What _was_ the reason? Yes, there needed to be some relief after the tragedy of Uther's reign, but why had the Old Religion decided that it needed to unite the land of Albion when it barely lasted for twenty years? There was no answer that she could give that would justify the anguish Merlin had been living with. She only had the truth.

"The future you saw, the one without magic, was shaped by this decision. You had already chosen to join him when you gazed into the Crystal of Neahtid, so that is what it showed you. The crystal works in the cruelest of ways, Merlin. It is thought to show _the_ future, when in fact it only shows one; the one most likely to occur, but one of many nonetheless."

Merlin recalled another future he had seen in the crystal, one he had helped create when he freed the Great Dragon and it avenged itself on the innocent citizens of Camelot. Those deaths had weighed heavily on his conscience, and Merlin had devoted the years since Mordred fulfilled _his_ destiny atoning for them. Shaking his head to clear away the unwanted thoughts, Merlin finally turned his gaze to Freya, his expression sad, regretful.

"I promised you a home by the lake, surrounded by mountains and free of everything else. Do you hate me for coming to you now, asking this of you?"

"Oh Merlin, I could never hate you. You freed me from that curse, saved me in a way I had never even _hoped_ to be saved." She stepped towards the shore, her feet making only the barest of ripples in the water as she moved. When she was standing before him, Freya lifted her hands to frame his slender, age-worn face, her warm brown eyes locking onto his blue-gold ones. "If this is what you truly desire...."

"Since I met him, I have wanted nothing more." A sad smile stole over Merlin's lips. "Except once, when I wanted you."

"It is your wish, then, Merlin, to shed this mortal coil, to surrender your immortal soul, and spend the rest of eternity in Avalon?"

"Yes," Merlin breathed.

"So mote it be," Freya whispered.

Merlin went willingly as she led him into the water and he did not struggle as she pressed him down into the murky depths of the lake. As he breathed out one last time, releasing himself from the body that had served him well for so long, Merlin sent a final thought to her.

 _'I did love you. Not enough, I know, but I did.'_

"But your heart, your soul, your very being was destined only for him," Freya replied, voice soft but joyous as she felt Merlin pass into Avalon.

~*~

Merlin opened his eyes after what felt like an eternity, surprised to find he still had them. He gazed at his hands, turning them this way and that as he took in the differences. Gone were centuries of wrinkles and age spots, earned not by the natural progression of his body aging, which it had, though far slower than any mortal's, but by Merlin's separation from his other half. They were not the hands of an old man, but those of man just out of his youth, approaching his prime. He laughed, and the sound seemed to reverberate through his whole being before it echoed out into the room he was standing in.

"It takes some getting used to, but with an eternity ahead of us, it hardly matters."

The voice was rich and full and deep and everything that Merlin had been aching to hear. With a cry of joy, Merlin flung himself at the man standing in the doorway, crushing Arthur against him. When he pulled back, it was to press his hands to the bearded cheeks, his fingers tracing over the hard planes. Blue eyes smiled back at him, and Arthur’s hands came up to pull him closer, until they were flush.

“God how I’ve missed you,” Merlin croaked, and suddenly, it was almost too much.

“I know. I’ve missed you too. But you’re here now, Merlin, and we have forever to make up for a handful of missed years.”

“Yes.” Merlin nodded and pulled Arthur’s lips to his. “Forever,” he whispered against them, and then time stopped.


End file.
